Florida man headlines – aren’t they something? You can get anything from murders to alligator wrestling, car robberies or drugs. But there are also those cool, funny, or even weird Florida man headlines that just spark joy or surprise (or both) on our faces. Those are the ones we’ll talk about today. And boy, do we have a few doozies in here. If you know of any others we might have missed and should be a part of this page, please share them in the comments below. Enjoy!
1. Florida Man Tries To Cross Ocean In Hamster Wheel
This one is and will always be a classic. It took 5 days for the Coast Guard to get him to safety! 5 days! And here comes the real kicker: this is the FOURTH time he’s tried this! Talk about persistence. He first tried this back in 2014 and also had attempts in 2016 and 2021 but the Coast Guard stopped him in his tracks.
This time was a little different because he threatened to harm himself with a knife if anyone tried to come closer. Then he was even threatened with a bomb and the Coast Guard had to contact U.S. Navy Explosive Ordnance Disposal Unit because the situation was getting very serious. Turns out the “bomb” was not real (as the Florida man admitted) so he was taken off the vessel.
2. Florida Man Caught With Stolen Utility Pole Strapped to Car
You can’t make this up. This Florida man thought it would be a great idea to literally steal a huge utility pole. Then he had an even smarter idea: what if I take it home strapped to my car? A floury of great ideas.
You just have to see this!
Florida man accused of stealing fallen utility pole
3. Florida man calls 911 to report a drunk driver: himself
What an upstanding citizen! And the awesome part is you can see the video/audio where this person actually calls 911 and reports himself! Enjoy!
4. Florida man in a shirt saying “COKE” gets arrested for selling… crack cocaine!
Sometimes honesty can lead to trouble. Or maybe he needed the marketing.
5. Florida man breaks INTO JAIL to hang with his buddies
You probably guessed this man was high as a kite. “All you had to do was ask.” it’s what the officers could have said.
The Florida man jammed his car into the front door of the Indian River County jail and tried to climb a fence when he got stuck. Thankfully there were officers close by to assist him to his new cell. He will now have a lot of time to spend with his friends.
6. Florida man robs phone repair store, with a BOX on his head that falls off during robbery – all caught on camera
Oh, did we mention he cries for his mama when he gets arrested? Too bad he didn’t think outside the box, eh?
The full video is here for your entertainment:
7. Florida man steals a car then sees there’s a BABY in it so he drops baby off safely and drives away
At least he did the right thing, no? It’s one thing to steal a car but having to also take care of a crying baby, well that was probably too much for this thief.
8. Florida man charged with assault with a deadly weapon after throwing ALLIGATOR through Wendy’s drive-thru window
Talk about ingenuity: now that’s a deadly weapon if we ever saw one! Apparently the young man (24) that did this was trying to make a prank (a very stupid one) on a Wendy’s employee he knew. Well, that backfired quickly.
9. Florida man asks trooper to leave scene of car crash so he could… get more meth
The man had a suspended license and had already been arrested that same month after crashing another car into a house this time. He then said he was an FBI agent!
Too bad the trooper didn’t say “Yes, of course you can go.” and then he could have followed him and found his dealer as well.
Bonus:
This one was just too good not to mention. Although it’s not a “Florida man” but rather “Florida men”, it’s still pure gold.
Thousands of gun owners in Florida planning to “shoot down” Hurricane Irma
Talk about taking things to the next level! These people were determined to protect their properties. Experts had to create a diagram showing that bullets can and will come back if shot so it’s advisable NOT to shoot at a hurricane!
Plenty of “Florida Man” material on the web but there are some of the best ones we could find. Hopefully at least one made you chuckle or say WTF!
Recommended reading next: 15 Weirdest Laws In Florida You Didn’t Know Existed
What is the story of the Florida man?
It all started in 2013 when a Florida Man Twitter account was made. Each tweet referred to real news that had the “Florida Man…” wording attached. Many of the tweets became viral and the account rose to fame quickly, coining (for good) the now famous term Florida Man.
